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YOUR MOM'S ASS ONLINE

Written by Ezyan on March 30, 2009
...aaaaaaaaand it's me again! Because I am a total loser and have nothing to blog about except my pathetic life (which you don't want to hear about and it will last for a grand total of about 5 lines anyway) and QoTWs.

Speaking of which, I always seem to have the most spam-like blog titles. I wonder why this is? *hurhur*

So. The big question. Online vs real life, how do I act?

Really, the main part of the equation is who I am talking to. I would sooner touch a spider and let it run up my arm, play with it, keep it as a pet and feed it three square meals a day in flies than start up a conversation with someone I barely know, over the net, and throw insulting YOUR MOM jokes at them. Simply speaking, like hell it would happen. (Just an FYI, I use YOUR MOM probably more than I breathe, but I'm a bigger fan of Dez's mom. ;D)

I know those jokes are just jokes.

My close friends know that those jokes are just jokes.

But random people I met two hours ago or something over an anime site, who are willing to pour out their life story 'bout how they were abused as a kid, almost sent to an insane asylum 13 times and go D&M about everything? (I'm sorry, I shouldn't make fun of this, it's just a little wave to Dez. 8D)

Nu uh. Knowing my luck, I'd get someone who could hack a system blindfolded with both hands tied behind their back and is a total pro at typing with their nose. In less time it would take me to consume Gackt's delicious body, I would probably have >9000 Trojans and viruses on my brand new MacBook.





Also I'm a lot better at lying over the net than I am in real life, but then again, who isn't? Ah well. At least you can't see me looking somewhat guilty if I tell you the gold vault is straight down this corridor and to the left, then right through the door where the horrible screams are coming from.

Now, in real life, that's a completely different story. I'm a lot looser with my brilliant repartee *cough cough*. The whole demeanour I can use is totally different, so it's much easier to tell I'm kidding around. Again, it depends who I'm talking to: some uptight 40 year old woman with a stick shoved up her ass; a guillable 10 year old (not that that stopped me from teaching kids what bukkake was a couple of years ago), or what.

...although if it's an online friend I just met IRL for the first time EVAR, that would be awkward. And I would be awkward. And I would have nothing to say, unless I knew them very well.

...so, yeah. The point is, GENERALLY my online demeanour is the same, except I'm nicer to strangers. Oh, and, of course, the most glaringly obvious difference is: I CAN'T MOLEST YOU FIND YOUR ISCHIAL TUBEROSITY FOR YOU HUG YOU AND PALPATE YOUR COCCYX OVER THE NET. D:

For which you are very sad about, aren't you? 8D

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Ezyan

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March 30, 2009
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Comments

 
Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:00 AM +

(not that that stopped me from teaching kids what bukkake was a couple of years ago)


You're a total asshole.

 
 
Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:05 AM +

Says the one who just blogged about what a total asshole HE is.

 
 
Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:06 AM +

Therefore I am an authority on the matter.

 
 
Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:15 AM +

...well YOU'RE A BIGGER ASSHOLE. D<

 
 
Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:17 AM +

Mmm. Bukkake.

 
 
Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:49 PM +

Zhlink said: Mmm. Bukkake.


Remember, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye!

~AF

 
 
Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:54 PM +

AN EYE FOR HOURS OF BUKKAKE.

As long as it's someone else's eye, I'm not complaining. ;D

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 01:49 AM +

Stop it Stop it! There should be an extra option to tag the blog as erotica, because I don't want any bukkake (which is japanese fish) near my face.

/child

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 02:13 AM +

Fight fight fight fight!

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 02:17 AM +

I thought Bukkake was like...mass ejaculation or something.


Or maybe....?

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 04:31 AM +

It's when a female traveler is very very thirsty, and meets a group of men who are willing to donate some liquid to quench her thirst.

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 07:10 AM +

Well, I'll be a lot nicer than I was to the people I told a couple of years ago and tell you NOT TO GO GOOGLING PICTURES OF IT. XDDDDDDDDD

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 07:20 AM +

Mmmm.
Bukkake.

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 07:20 AM +

Aha, and here I thought the title would have nothing to do with the blog, but when I did my usual Ctrl+F for "bukkake" I hit gold! I swear I'm finding good topics in every blog I read now. ;D

 
 
Tue Mar 31, 2009 08:05 AM +

Bukkakes are disgusting Z_Z

 

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