If there was only one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be and why?

(Woo~. Finally got around to doing the QoTWs. XD)

The first and foremost property about me that I’d change is my attitude towards work. Why? I promised that I’d go find summer work. In the end, I was denied from what little programs I had signed up for and spent the rest of my summer lounging around at home or with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with friends or staying at home. (Actually, there is. Whenever I make it a habit to go out for whatever reason, such as dance sessions, sports, or just to hang out, my mom makes a fuss about me never being home. When I do stick around the house, she yells that I never get out. Hmm, wonder where the middle ground for this is.) The thing is that I never get my goals accomplished and I never seem motivated enough to try my hardest.

For example, two years ago, when I attended Stuyvesant High School (dunstalkpls) as a sophomore, I had high hopes of getting into MIT. Because of my laziness, I have no idea where I can even go. MIT? I doubt I can even enter that as a reach. My grades have significantly dropped since entering high school. Hope I can finally pull that downward slope up. (School starts in 2 days!)

Another example I could pull out is dancing. While I’ve learned to blame no one but myself, I can’t help but put some of blame on my friend, who started dancing before I did. He told me that he never practices except in school. School is nonexistent during the summer. By logic, he never practices. I don’t like practicing by myself. Because my friend doesn’t, I rarely feel like going to the recreational center to practice. (It takes 5 train transfers from my house to get there! D:) My goal of flares by summer’s end has dwindled down to just a mastery of some footwork.

You’re probably going to tell me that everyone gets lazy from time to time. I’m going to tell you that my laziness isn’t from time to time. It’s perpetual. At my school, we have something called senioritis. It’s a made-up condition that affects only seniors and makes them lazy and non-respondent to work. I’d say that condition is real indeed, and I’ve been infected ever since I reached high school.

Given the chance, I’d change much more than just my laziness. I’m not the best friend there is. Hell, I doubt I’m really good at anything involving more than myself. Since joining Maple again, I’ve made three friends. That’s three friends in a month. One of them called me a loner. I’m beginning to think that she’s right.

Going to stop here, since there are some very rowdy cats outside and I want to see them. Ending this blog at 8:34 AM.