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A Lost Love - Ch. 4

Written by FunnyFroggy on June 28, 2009
Chapta 4! Woooooo!

The title now officially has nothing to do with the content. :D Awesome, huh? :P

New Characters

Michelle - Reve Muahahahahahahaha!!!!
Guosim - Tranny...
Regina – Is Regina a guy? :o lululululululul I be r play wit chu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arcturus skids to a stop, barely colliding into a dumpster running a red light.

"Fugging truck!" cursed Arcturus as he resumed speeding towards the police station. After a couple minutes of dodging traffic, hobos, and Froggers, they arrived at Ansolad Police Department.

As Arcturus got out, he said to Froggy, "Please don't touch anything. Especially things labeled 'Evidence'. You'll only be there for a couple minutes, and then we'll have someone escort you to Ansolad Hospital."
"Uhh..okay." replied Froggy.

Arcturus entered the police department and a couple of voices could be heard greeting him. As Froggy followed, he muttered underneath his breath, "Pfft. As if."

The inside of the police department was not your average police station. It was dull and gray all around. The only colorful thing was the shiny golden badge placed upon a perky bosom of a female officer.

Froggy did what all men do when they see a smex b0mb: He licked his palm and ran it through his hair. (iz true) He approached the voluptuous woman and winked.

"Hey, how you doing? Name's Froggy."
"Hi. I'm Officer Lee, but you can call me..." started Lee. She leaned forward close to Froggy's ear and whispered, "Regina." Then she kissed him on the cheek. Froggy chuckled to himself, knowing he was about to score. Just as he was about to recite a cheesy pick up line, he felt someone grab his neck and yanked him backwards.

"Come on, we've got work to do, " said Arcturus dragging Froggy towards the conference room.

When they got there, he closed the door and told Froggy to sit down. Arcturus took out a clipboard with a couple pieces of paper on it and said, "Before we start, you should know something about Regina."
"What?"
"Regina is...." started Arcturus.
"Regina is what? Pregnant? Gay? A hobo? A Pokemon? Has STDs? Out with it!"

Arcturus looked around, then leaned close and whispered, "Regina is actually...a guy."

Froggy stared at Arcturus for a couple of seconds. A brief silence. And then...

"OHMAIGAWWWWWD!!!! REGINA'S A GUY!?!?!?" yelled Froggy.
"Shhhhhh!!! Not so loud!" whispered Arcturus frantically. "He didn't have a very large...er...hot dog. It was just a little under one inch. His friends would mock him when he went swimming. So...he got a smex change...His life hasn't been so good before, and now...it's still not that good after people find out the truth. But we officers must help him, so don't do anything that might upset him, er I mean, her."

Froggy stared at Arcturus for a while, then walks to the nearby trash bin, and vomits. Then he turned to Arcturus and said, "Excuse me while I apply soap and detergents to my cheek."

Arcturus chuckled to himself. Hehehehe...Regina is mine! And NO one is going to take her away from me. NO ONE! Ahahahahahahhaa! One day, Regina and I will be UNITED TILL DEATH DO WE PART! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

When Froggy got back, they started on the questions. It was a bizarre set of questions with some questions completly unrelated to the explosion at the college, such as "What is produced when a frog and a hamster mate?"

After answering the questions, Froggy was free to go. He left immediately, not wanting to get eye contact with Regina.

Froggy turned towards a nearby park and sits in one of the many dirty benches that fill the park. While leaned back, and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he saw a girl staring at him.

"HOLEE SHIZ!" cried Froggy as he jumped up. "Who're you?"

The girl was wearing camo cargo pants and a camo tanktop. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail and her dull blue bandana made her look like some army hobo. In her hand, she carried a rapier which was raised towards him.

"Byfl woffel roffle? Woffel roffle byfl? Byfl byf roff. Woffel roff byf roffle!" said the girl. "Byfl woffroff byf byfwoffel Guosim."

"....lolwut?"
"...Byfl woffroff byf byfwoffel Guoism."
"....IDK MY BFF JILL!"
-smacks forehead- "BYFL! WOFFROFF! BYF! BYFWOFFEL! GUOISM!!!!!!"
"Dun raep me!" cried Froggy as he lashed out with his foot which coincidentally somehow hit Guosim's rapier, which miraculously hit Guosim's temple with the hilt.

She never stood a chance.

Froggy quickly fled the crime scene. After several hours of wandering around, Froggy saw a grocery store. The sight of the store reminded his stomach that it was hungry and began to growl.

“RaaaaaaaaaWWWWWWWWWWR! FEEEEEEEEEEED MEH!”
“Shut it or you’re not getting anything,” said Froggy.
“ORLY?”
“YARLY!”
“SRSLY?”
“SRSLY!”
“Betch, you lie! If I don’t get anything, THEN YOU DIE! Hahahahahahahahaaaa!”
“Damn it. Ass….” Muttered Froggy as he walks into the grocery store.

The grocery store happened to be the most luxurious store in existence, with golden shopping carts crusted with jewels and the floor was made of marble. As Froggy looked around in awe, he noticed the prices of the items the store sold.

“HOLY BANANA TRALALA DING DING DONG! $9001/lb of APPLES!? OMGWTFBBQRANCH!?!?”

Hearing the commotion, (as no customer was in this section because everyone was over on the other side of the store which was the real store and this section Froggy was in was a fake section of the store which the store put up to see if it could goad some stupid gullible rich people to buy overpriced stuff therefore making the store extremely rich.) an employee walked to Froggy and tapped his shoulder.

“Excuse me sir, is there a problem?” asked the girl.
“DAMN RIGHT THERE IS!” answered Froggy.

The girl was a short teenager who had just grown from the gullible age and stumbled upon the lying age. Next year she’ll go into horny phase. Anyways, the girl was working part-time as a cashier in order to get enough money to buy a certain object females use to give themselves extremely positive emotions we shall call “pleasure”.

Froggy turned around holding the “expensive” apple and said, “I can get an apple from the dumpster that’s better quality than this piece of shit!”

The girl was about to speak, but became mesmerized in his dark green eyes, complimented with his green shirt, green pants, green hair, green skin, green lips, green teeth, green shoes, oh and that green shit on the ground.

Nah, I’m kidding. There’s nothing green here. She’s just delusional. Except maybe those green apples there. Although…it could be mold…

The girl started blabblering incoherent sounds and Froggy looked at her as if she was some hobo off the street begging to take a dump at your house.

“Just go in your pants! My toilet serves no hobo!” said Froggy.
“I-I-I-I-I-I-I….” –breathes- “I-I-I-I-I-I-I-“ stuttered the girl.
“Out with it!” said Froggy as he wacked her on the forehead.
-squeeeeeeeeaaal- “I-I-I’m Michelle. This s-s-section is actually a f-fake.”
“…lolwut. You seem…crazy.”
“OMG YES!”
“Hey, wanna see a trick?”
“OMG YES!”
“Okay, I DEMAND you to faint and then when you wake up, you’ll remember none of this and when I leave the store, you’ll give me all the money your store has earned in my new banking account.”
“lol ur funny."
"...Damn. Okay, well I-"
"OMMMMMMMMpenisMMMMMMMMMG!!!!!!!!!!! MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!," screamed the girl suddenly. Her scream was so powerful it knocked Froggy down and he slid across the floor, slamming against the wall, unconscious. The walls around them were cracked, and all the shelves toppled down creating an ear-shattering noise. Glass shattered everywhere, food spilled all over, and shit from the toilets flooded the produce section.

"...oops." The girl stood there shocked at the destruction that she caused. "Ohboyohboy they're gonna fire me now. shitshitshit." As she stood there cursing and whining, a dark figure creeped up behind her...

Suddenly, the dark figure jumped out in front of the girl and yelled out, "MONKEYBUTT!" causing the girl to faint in fear (andwetherpantieslololol) The dark figure crouched and peered at the unconscious girl. "Hmm...'Michelle'. What an awkward name...is she saying her real name is Chelle?" The dark figure ponders for a moment. "Oh, well. I must wake this girl up using my patented magic from HAAAAAARRY POTTERRRRRRR!!!!"

The dark figure slowly reached forward for the girl....particularlyinthetorso.



TO BE CONTINUED!

it r sux i noez

I tried to make it as serious as possible..but I. COULDN’T. RESIST! It was too tempting! I succumbed to the eeeeeeevil! T-T

:3 lulululululul. ‘Tis epic, no? And when I get Flash working, it’ll become an EPIC FLASH MOO-V! Or someone could do it for me. :P

lululul

c00|<iE5 f0|2 g|_|e55i||g //|-|<> the dark figure i5.

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FunnyFroggy

June 28, 2009
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Comments

 
Sun Jun 28, 2009 08:44 PM +

XDDD So silly.

 
 
Mon Jun 29, 2009 12:58 AM +

lololol inorite

 
 
Mon Jun 29, 2009 06:00 AM [Edited once ] +

Glass shattered everywhere, food spilled all over, and s**t from the toilets flooded the produce section.


Yesterday, my friend in Vietnam was just telling me about how s**t literally oozed out of a toilet bowl in the cubicle he was in. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

-cough--cough-

I'm torn between killing you and rofling so hard I can't kill you, but for the sake of the next chapter, I shall rofl.

-rofls-

 
 
Mon Jun 29, 2009 06:40 AM +

Ewww asploding shit. D:

 
 
Mon Jun 29, 2009 03:01 PM +

LMFAO this was hilarious. xD
Very random.
Continue. :D

 
 
Mon Jun 29, 2009 04:34 PM +

i liekz random. :O

 
 
Mon Jun 29, 2009 08:01 PM +

Me too. :O
i also liekz mudkipz!

 
 
Tue Jun 30, 2009 02:15 AM +

This is some random shnitz!
I liek!

 

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