"Hey, you told me to do something; you never said I'd have to do it right."

"Hey, the jerk store called and they're all out of you!"

"If you had a penny for every penny that I gave you, how many pennies would you get?"

"Hey, if people can make diamonds out of peanut butter, why wouldn't they?"

"It only takes about a thousand people or so out of a billion to call a disease a pandemic."

"A bullet is my hot knife through butter."

"Upon reflection, everyone is a hypocrite."

"It's not madness; it's hysteria."

"A Tale of Two Cities is like a drug; everyone hates it but it's so addictive and interesting."