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Interweb Heroes

Tagged as: Dest1.

Written by Dest1 on April 24, 2009
Hey everyone, it's Dest. It's been a while since I have written a real blog, and it's been an even longer time since I've written anything story like. I'm a bit rusty, but I wrote this last week. Spent this week revising it, so yeah, hope you like it. If there's a lot of positive reception, I'll release what would be chapter 2.



SuperHunk9001: Hey baby, your screen names makes me explode in my undergarments. :)
AznCutie74: ew gtfo perv!!!
SuperHunk90001: Come on girl, you know you want me. :)
AznCutie74: not in a mill yrs, perv!!
SuperHunk9001: You don’t know what you’re missin’, hun.

Aw man, this girl is sooo into me, thought Derek. She obviously has fallen for my super hunkiness. I’m so good at this, I should be a pro.

Now, Derek isn’t a “super hunk” like he says he is. Derek is a 14 year old, Caucasian boy from a small town in Nebraska. Lanky, tall, and almost albino (his hair is a mix between white and blonde), he isn’t anywhere CLOSE to a super hunk. In fact, the only girlfriend he ever had was his life size electronic Barbie doll which he sleeps with every night.

AznCutie74 has logged off.

Dangit! Oh well, there’s always next time.

Derek logged off the chat room, turned off his computer, and laid in his bed. He held his Barbie doll and began to speak to it.

“Barbie, I love you so much.”
“I enjoy tennis!”

Derek put down the doll and walked out his room. He went down the stairs, and searched around for his mother and father.

“Mom! Dad! Where are you?!”
“Derek, don’t be dumb, your alcoholic father left us for a cheap prostitute.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Oh right, I forgot.”
“Like the other 9001 times.”

Derek went into the kitchen, and looked in the pantry. He took out a box of Oreos and brought it up to his room. The boy put the Oreos on his table and turned the computer on and went back into the chat room.

SuperHunk9001: Hey guyz, I’m back!
XXXHOTTIEXXX: Hey, I’m Danielle.

Yes! I think I can win this girl! thought Derek, as he omnomnom’ed on an Oreo.

SuperHunk9001: Wassup Danielle, I’m Derek.
XXXHOTTIEXXX: Wow! We have the same first letter in our first name! D!
SuperHunk9001: Kewl!
XXXHOTTIEXXX: I like you, Derek.:)
SuperHunk9001: Me too, Danielle. :) :) :) :)

I’m so freaking smooth.

An hour and an empty box of Oreos later…

XXXHOTTIEXXX: Wanna exchange pics??
SuperHunk9001: Sure, you first.
XXXHOTTIEXXX: XXXHOTTIEXXX is trying to send a file to you. Would you like to accept?
SuperHunk9001: -Transfer now commencing…-
A minute afterwards…
SuperHunk9001: WOW! You’re smokin’!!!
XXXHOTTIEXXX: ;) Now let me see yours.

Derek then Googled “Johnny Depp hot” and clicked on images. He took the first picture, and Photoshopped the picture to make Johnny Depp paler and a bit skinnier.

SuperHunk9001: -Sends file-
Another minute…
XXXHOTTIEXXX: You’re sexy. :) Here’s my website. Sign up for it. It has all my pictures. Littlelacyssuprisepageant.com (for you those who has played GTA 4)
SuperHunk9001: !!! :DD –clicks-



SuperHunk9001: Wtf, why does it say that my IP has been logged and has a picture of the Nebraska Police Department?

XXXHOTTIEXXX has logged off.

Aw s**tf**kinga**munch! I hope that website isn’t real.

Derek turned off his monitor, and went to bed.

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Dest1

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April 24, 2009
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Comments

 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 01:17 AM +

Haha, nice humor. :)

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 01:35 AM +

Lol! Nice 'website'.

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 03:12 AM +

Wow. That's awesome. You should continue this.

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 03:47 AM +

Will there be an FBI raid in the sequel? :D

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 04:06 AM +

"We heard an explosion, probably occurred in an undergarment. We're here to investigate!"

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 05:07 AM +

LOL. I want to read the next chapter, NOW! I want to see this kid get pwnd by the pedo police. Who are probably expecting him to be like, a 50 year old man. LOL.

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 07:47 AM +

Next, on Dateline!

A 14 year-old albino boy passed fora 37-year old hunk, who enjoys sexually harrassing sheep!
More coming up next!

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 08:06 PM +

Syphillis man revealed to be a 14-year-old boy! -following Pirkie's comment-

 
 
Sat Apr 25, 2009 11:30 PM +

LOL nice.
You should continue this.

 

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