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A Walk To Eternity

Written by Pirkid on April 10, 2009
They had grown up next door to each other, on the fringe of Henesys, near fields and woods and orchards, within sight of a lovely bell tower that belonged to a school for blind archers.

Now they were twenty, had not seen each other for nearly a year. There had always been playful, comfortable warmth between them, but never any talk of love.

His name was Max. Her name was Sneha. In the early afternoon, Max knocked on Sneha's front door.

Sneha came to the door. She was carrying a fat, glossy magazine she had been reading. The magazine was devoted entirely to brides. “Max!” She said. She was surprised to see him.

”Could you come for a walk?” He said. He was a shy person, even with Sneha. He covered his shyness by speaking absently, as though he were a secret agent pausing briefly on a mission between beautiful, distant, and sinister points. This manner of speaking had always been Max's style, even in matters that concerned him desperately.

”A walk?” said Sneha. Her brown eyes were reflecting light from the setting sun, giving off a shiny, glazed look.

”One foot in front of the other,” said Max. ”Through leaves, over bridges..”

"I had no idea you were in town,” she said, attempting to change the subject.

”Just this minute got in,” he said.

”Still in the Army, I see,” she said, noticing his dusty boots and messy brown hair that was standing straight up.

”Seven more months to go,” he said. He was a PFC in the Maple Artillery. His uniform was rumpled. His shoes were dusty. He needed a shave. He held out his hand for the magazine. “Let’s see the pretty book,” he said.

She gave it to him. “I’m getting married, Max,” she said.

”I know,” he said. “Let’s go for a walk.” He shuffled his feet.

”I'm awfully busy, Max,” she said. “The wedding is only a week away.” She gestured towards the magazine.

”If we go for a walk..” he said. ”It will make you rosy. It will make you a rosy bride.“ He turned the pages of the magazine.” A rosy bride like her,” he said, showing her rosy brides.

Sneha turned rosy, thinking about rosy brides.

”That will be my person to Master Cheeze Sttufs,” said Max. “By talking you for a walk, I'll be giving him a rosy bride.”

"You know his name?” Said Sneha.

”Mother wrote,” he said.

“How is Aliyah, Max?” she asked, watching his fingers play with the rip in the corner of the book.

“Fine, fine. Mother is finding a new way to find cancer everyday.” He replied, distracted with the magazine. “Cheeze is from Kerning City?”

”Yes,” she said. “You'd like him.”

”Maybe,” he said. His fingers slipped, causing the rip in the magazine to widen across the page.

"Can..can you come to the wedding, Max?” she said.

”That I doubt.“ he muttered.

”Your furlough isn't for long enough?” she said, confused.

”Furlough?” said Max. He was studying a two page ad for flat silver. “I'm not on furlough,” he said.


” I'm what they call A. W. O. L.,” said Max, checking behind him.

”Oh, Max! You're not!” she exclaimed, mouth open.

”Sure I am,” he said, still looking at the magazine.

”Why, Max?” she said.

”I had to find out what your wedding dress was,” he said. He read names of designer dresses from the magazine. “Classic Lady? Heather?” he said. “Legend? Greasy n00b?” He looked up, smiled. “I plan to give you and your husband a ripped dress,” he said, pointing to the picture.

”Max, Max..tell me really,” she said, slightly upset.

"I want to go for a walk,” he said.

She wrung her hands in sisterly anguish. “Oh,'re fooling me about being A.W.O.L.,” she said.

Max imitated police siren softly, raised his eyebrows.

”Where..where from?” she said.

”Omega Sector,” he said.

”Ludus Lake?” she said, surprised.

”That all right,” he said.”Near Ludibrium..where Dest O'Hara went to school.”

”How did you get here, Max?” she said.

He raised his thumb, jerked it in a hitchhike gesture.”Two days,” he said.

”Does your mother know?” she said.

”I didn't come to see my mother,” he told her.

”Who did you come to see?” she said.

”You,” he said.

”Why me?” she said.

”Because I love you,” he said. “Now can we take a walk?” he said. “One foot in front of the other..through leaves, over bridges..”

They were taking the walk now, in a forest with a brown-leaf floor.

Sneha was angry and rattled, close to tears.”Max,” she said,”this is absolutely crazy.”

”How so?” said Max, holding her hand softly.

”What a crazy time to tell me you love me,” she said.”You never talked that way before.” She stopped walking.

”Let's keep walking,” he said, slightly pulling her.

”No,” she said, slowing. “So far, no farther. I shouldn't have come out with you at all.”

”You did though,” he said. "Why?"

”To get you out of the house,” she said.”If somebody walked in and heard you talking to me that way, a week before the wedding..”

“What would they think?” he said.

“They'd think you were crazy.”


Sneha took a deep breath, made a speech.”Let me say that I'm deeply honored by this crazy thing you've done,” she said.”I can't believe you're really A.W.O. L., but maybe you are. I can't believe you really love me, but maybe you do. But..”

“I do,” said Max. His green emerald eyes dug into her eyes. There was no dilation of his pupil, no blood pressure in his hand. She took notice.

“Well, I'm deeply honored,” said Sneha,”and I'm very fond of you as a friend, Max, extremely fond..but it's just too late.” She took a step away from him. “You've never even kissed me,” she said, and she protected herself with her hands.”I don't mean you should do it now. I just mean this is all so unexpected. I haven't got the remotest idea of how to respond.”

“Just walk some more,” he said.”Have a nice time.” He looked at his hand, at the spot where her hand used to be.

They started walking again. She moved closer and he grabbed her hand again.

“How did you expect me to react?” she said, staring at him.

“How would I know what to expect?” he said furtively.”I've never done anything like this before.”

“Did you think I would throw myself into you arms?” she said angrily.

“Maybe,” he said.

“I'm sorry to disappointed you,” she said.

“I'm not disappointed,” he said.”I wasn't counting on it. This is very nice, just walking.”

Sneha stopped again.”You know what happens next?” she said.

“Nope,” he said.

“We shake hands,” she said.”We shake hands and part friends,” she said.”That's what happens next.”

Max nodded, letting go of her. ”All right,” he said.”Remember me from time to time. Remember how much I love you.”

Involuntarily, Sneha burst into tears. She turned her back to Max, looked into the infinite colonnade of the woods.

“What does that mean?” Max asked.

“Rage!” said Sneha. She clenched her hands.”You have no right..”

“I had to find out..”

“If I'd loved you,” she said,” I would have let you know before now.”

“You would?”

“Yes,” she said. She faced him, looked up at him, her face quite red. “You would have known,” she said.

“How?” he said.

“You would have seen it,” she said. “Women aren't very clever at hiding it.”

Max looked closely at Sneha's face now. To her distress, she realized that what she had said was true, that a woman couldn't hide love.

Max was seeing love now.

And he did what he had to do. He kissed her.

“You're hell to get along with!” she said when Max let her go.

“I am?” said Max, stepping back. He knew how strong Sneha could be if he was in the range of her punch.

“You shouldn't have done that,” she said.

“You didn't like it?” he said.

“What did you expect,” she said..” wild, abandoned passion?”

“I keep telling you,” he said,” I never know what's going to happen next.”

“We say good-by,” she said.

He frowned slightly.”All right,” he said.

She made another speech.”I'm not sorry we kissed,” she said.”That was sweet. We should have kissed, we've been so close. I'll always remember you, Max, and good luck.”

“You too,” he said.

“Thank you, Max,” she said.

“Thirty days,” he said.

“What?” she said.

“Thirty days in the stockade,” he said. ”That's what one kiss will cost me.”

“I..I'm sorry,” she said,” but I didn't ask you to go A. W. O. L.”

“I know,” he said. He looked down.

“You certainly don't deserve any hero's reward for doing something as foolish as that,” she said. Her tone was kind, but her words sharp.

“Must be nice to be a hero,” said Max.”Is Master Cheeze Sttufs a hero?”

“He might be, if he got the chance,” said Sneha. She noted uneasily that they had begun to walk again. That farewell had been forgotten.

“You really love him?” he said.

“Certainly I love him!” she said hotly.”I would not marry him if I didn't love him!”

“What's so good about him?” said Max, annoyed.

“Honestly!” she cried, stopping again.”Do you have any idea how offensive you're being? Many, many, many things are good about Cheeze! Yes,” she said,” and many, many, many things are probably bad too. But that isn't any of your business. I love Cheeze, and I don't have to argue his merits with you!”

“Sorry,” said Max.

“Honestly!” said Sneha. She crossed her arms

Max held her arms and kissed her again. He kissed her again because she wanted him to.

They were now in a large orchard.

“How did we get so far from home, Max?” said Sneha. She was swinging her hand in his.

“One foot in front of the other..through leaves, over bridges,” said Max.

“They add up..the steps,” she said.

Bells rang in the tower of the school for the blind nearby.

“School for the blind archers,” said Max, remembering how his best friend David had attended that school, many years ago.

“School for the blind,” said Sneha. She shook her head in drowsy wonder.”I've got to go back now,” she said sadly.

“Say good-bye,” said Max.

“Every time I do,” said Sneha,” I seem to get kissed.” She grinned.

Max sat down on the close-cropped grass under an apple tree.”Sit down,” he said.

“No,” she said.

“I won't touch you,” he said.

“I don't believe you,” she said.

She sat down under another tree, twenty feet away from him. She closed her eyes.

“Dream of Cheeze Sttufs,” he said.

“What?” she said.

“Dream of your wonderful husband-to-be,” he said, yawning.

“All right, I will,” she said. She closed her eyes tighter, caught glimpses of her husband-to-be. Her eyes kept changed Cheeze's face to Max's soft, pastel features. She shook her head.

Max yawned again, covering his mouth with his gloved hand.

The bees were humming in the trees, and Sneha almost fell asleep. When she opened her eyes she saw that Max really was asleep.

He began to snore softly.

Sneha let Max sleep for an hour, and while he slept she adored him with all her heart.

The shadows of the apple trees grew to the east. The bells in the tower of the school for the archers rang again.

“Mew,” went a snail as it ambled by.

Somewhere far away a taxi starter nagged and failed, nagged and failed, fell still.

Sneha came out from under her tree, knelt by Max.

“Max?” she said.

“H'm?” he said. He opened his eyes. In front of his face was the most beautiful angel he had ever set his eyes upon.

“Late,” she said.

“Hello, Sneha.”

“Hello, Max.”

“I love you,” he said.

“I know,” she said. ”Too late.”

He stood, stretched while groaning.”A very nice walk.” he said.

“I thought so,” she said.

“Part company here?”

“Where will you go?”

“Hitch into town, turn myself in.”

“Good luck.”

“You too.” Max sighed. “Marry me, Sneha?”

“” Sneha's eyes began to tear again.

He smiled, stared at her hard for a moment, and then walked away quickly.

Sneha watched him grow smaller in the long perspective of shadows and trees, knew that if he stopped and turned now, if he called to her, she would run to him. She would have no choice.

Max did stop. He did turn. He did call. “Sneha,” he called.

She ran to him, put her arms around him, could not speak.

~Pir <3

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April 10, 2009
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March 20, 2009

Pirkid's blogs


Fri Apr 10, 2009 09:05 PM +

lol this wuz a secret i knu u told me AMIRITE.
However, there's no PAIN, therefore FAILLL. :(

Fri Apr 10, 2009 09:13 PM +


Fri Apr 10, 2009 09:59 PM +

Fri Apr 10, 2009 11:59 PM +

LULULULLULU Max n Sneha. Hardeeharharrrr.

Sat Apr 11, 2009 12:56 AM +

Sat Apr 11, 2009 02:02 AM +

Oh, I remember this. :D
Its good. This is one of my favourite stories that you wrote..

Sat Apr 11, 2009 02:15 AM +

Aw, nostalgia pangs.

Sat Apr 11, 2009 03:09 AM +

Now I remember where I saw this before xD

Sat Apr 11, 2009 03:33 AM +

I don't remember seeing this before >_____>
And was the mother's name being Connie a coincidence, or was that really supposed to be me? ;_;
Because if so, I find that offensive :(

Sat Apr 11, 2009 04:42 AM +

snowhamster said: I don't remember seeing this before >_____>
And was the mother's name being Connie a coincidence, or was that really supposed to be me? ;_;
Because if so, I find that offensive :(

Coincidence. o.O
I changed it. :)

Sat Apr 11, 2009 05:23 PM +

Thank chu~
But it would've been cool being Max's mom. lol

Sat Apr 11, 2009 05:49 PM +

All names are purely coincidental I assume?

The following names in the story, if any, that applies to a certain person, are purely coincidental and is not intended to cause harm, and/or to display any malicious intent towards someone else.

Mon Apr 13, 2009 01:48 AM +

David said: All names are purely coincidental I assume?

The following names in the story, if any, that applies to a certain person, are purely coincidental and is not intended to cause harm, and/or to display any malicious intent towards someone else.

It actually happened that I made a forum on MMOT asking for volunteers in my stories. I did two of them, one was a ghost romance and the other was this.
Gujju, Max, Cheeze, and by popular vote Dest volunteered, as did Aliyah.

Mon Apr 20, 2009 04:38 PM +

I never was good with broken love stories... good writing though.

Thu Jun 04, 2009 03:45 PM +

Very awesome, I like it.
Also, why is the girl's name Sneha?


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