No really!

So how do you guys feel about religion ruining relationships? Lemme enlighten you guys on an instance that is particularly near and dear to myself...as in directly influential.

There's this girl. She's pretty sweet. She's Mormon. Heard it before? Stop me if you have. In any case, I went to a church function to hang out with her. Was a "day of service" where we went and cleaned up a ghetto neighborhood. Afterwards there was a picnic get-together thing to celebrate all the good we had done. At the get-together there were obviously missionaries there socializing as well. They approached me asking if I'd like to talk to them a little about the church. After some prodding from the lady-friend, I accepted.

Now it's 4 months later. I've continued meeting with them. They keep prodding me to get baptized in "the true church" and to become a member. Now there are a few problems with this:
1. I'm nowhere near convinced.
2. My mother would die inside.
3. I'm not converting for a girl.

Now, they told me to pray. This is where it gets a little more cheesy so if you're anti-religion or something, please stop reading. You'll end up angry. I've been genuinely praying, and reading their book. The missionaries always tell me "Pray and he'll answer you..." so I have been and there's been absolutely no answer. They keep prodding me and pressuring me to commit to a religion I don't believe in and out of politeness I tell them I'd like to continue learning until I can make a commitment, when I know it's true.

"Oh, but Dustin, faith is not the knowledge of truth but the hope that it is true."
"...So you're asking me to risk my mother's livelihood on something I HOPE is true?"
"Well, have faith that you'll receive an answer atleast... Try for this weekend."
"Okay, I have faith I'll get an answer."

Now, I've committed to making a decision by this Sunday, after the service. If I don't receive an answer, then I never will and I'm backing out entirely. If I do, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I know I may sound crazy but I'm fully committed to doing what I feel is right.

Now, this is where it gets rough. The girl I'm with, whom I love, will not stay with me if I don't convert...eventually. So, if I end up deciding not to pursue the discussions with the missionaries any further, we're probably over. I'm planning on taking her out and telling her what's up.

"Faith, I committed to making a decision about the whole religion thing this Sunday... I didn't receive an answer, so I'm inclined to believe I never will. I'll never be Mormon and I entirely understand if you wish to back out of the relationship now. I'll leave right now and you'll never hear from me again. I'll return everything you've given me. It'd be great if that didn't happen but I'd understand."

This has been consuming my thoughts. How I'm probably going to lose a girl because a religion requires its members to be sealed in a temple. Because a religion is so elitist that they disallow their members from committing to someone outside of the religion. It's crushing me. I only took up the discussions because it'd make her happy. I didn't intend for it to end our relationship...

Oh well. It's a decision I have to make.

Oh, I got a new job. I am a chauffeur for a rich guy. 12 dollars an hour + gas. Not too bad for a college student, I'd say. I also have a job at a museum lined up for August so I'll have that too.

Unusual lacking in sex and humor in this blog but oh well. It's all I've got to blog about.

Thanks for reading if you have.

Bye.