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[QoTW35] Bathroom Nightmare

Tagged as: QoTW35, i, will, try, to, be, more, funny, in, this, blog.

Written by True13lue on May 2, 2011

The horror....THE HORRORRRR!



Okay, so I'm getting tired of writing depressing things. Now I'm gonna try to do something funny.
I'd better hear you motherfuckers go: "TROLOLOLOLOL!!" by the end of this shit or some heads are gonna roll.

All right so...desperate times? I'll tell you a little story...


I went to my boyfriend's house to hang out. It was on a friday and I just wanted to chill you know? Hang out with some friends. My boyfriend's family hand gone out to do something, I don't remember. But I was there and I had to use the bathroom so fucking bad, people. It felt like a nuclear warhead was about to shoot out of my ass.

Anyway, my boyfriend said he was gonna go to the store and to watch the place while he was gone. Cool. No problem with that. I was just gonna have sex withabuse the hell out of his PS3. But I was gonna like...take a major shit before I did that so I ran into the bathroom to, what else, drop a duece (btw, that means take a shit if you guys didn't know).

WELL you see....my boyfriend's family is very lazy. No one ever cleans up, or picks up after themselves because they are too lazy or assume that someone else will take care of it for them. In this case, I royally fucked myself over by not checking something before I went into the bathroom to take care of business.

So I'm sitting there, pants down and all, feeling 100 pounds lighter and I reach over for some toilet paper.
...
But I feel none. I look to see there was no toilet paper. Just that weird plastic thingie that holds the paper in place. I look around in a panic. I open the drawers under the sink, nothing. I open the shower curtains. Nothing.
I'm doing all this while sitting, mind you...

Just then the phone decides to ring. And I'm like: "Holy cock-n-balls. I can't moooove!" and the phone just keeps ringing over and over. Then the doorbell rings because my boyfriend had come back from the store.
Can you picture that, kiddies? Me, sitting there after shitting, no toilet paper, with the phone AND doorbell ringing.
It wasn't good.
*Despair*

I sat there...for a total of 2 hours before my boyfriend broke in through the window and found me in the bathroom, sitting there like a moron. He was totally pissed because I worried him and all I could say was: "My ass is full of shit, no one replaced the toilet paper. Couldn't move and someone called."

He got me some toilet paper, I wiped my ass, and then it was all good.
It was still pretty fucking embarassing though. Holy Jesus juice. So embarassing.
But I learned my lesson. Before using the bathroom...ALWAYS check to see if they have toilet paper. Or at least a fucking towel where I can dry my hands after washing them since they don't even replace that either.
*Sigh...*


So that's the story of my horrible bathroom experience at a place that wasn't even my home. I cried a little while I was in there. Bah, at least I wasn't stuck in there for like 5 hours instead. Sweet baby Jesus in a sunday hat, I would have killed myself.

That concludes my second ever QoTW. I better win this, Vusys! I worked really hard on this...if not then YOU BETTER HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE, 'CUZ I'MA BE CLIMBING THROUGH ERRBODY'S WINDOW AT NIGHT UNTIL I FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND EAT YO CHILDREN AND WIFE.
*Shakes fist at in a threatening manner*

'Till next time!

~ Jaz

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True13lue

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May 2, 2011
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Comments

 
Mon May 02, 2011 08:41 PM +

I'm not sure I believe this. :|

 
 
Mon May 02, 2011 08:48 PM +

...Ew.

 
 
Mon May 02, 2011 08:52 PM +

Nass said: ...Ew.


qft

 
 
Mon May 02, 2011 10:19 PM [Edited once ] +

Vusys said: I'm not sure I believe this. :|


Bitches be trollin'~

I swear it happened. Why would I lie about this? Why would I have any reason to lie about this? I'm not getting any grand prize for writing this. I did it for the lulz.
Can you stop busting my balls now?

Jesus.

 
 
Mon May 02, 2011 10:32 PM +

Pics or it didn't happen.

 
 
Mon May 02, 2011 11:54 PM +

True13lue said:
Vusys said: I'm not sure I believe this. :|


Bitches be trollin'~

I swear it happened. Why would I lie about this? Why would I have any reason to lie about this? I'm not getting any grand prize for writing this. I did it for the lulz.
Can you stop busting my balls now?

Jesus.


Two hours? You were in a bathroom... you could have showered maybe? or hell, there was more paper in the house, waddle and find some.

 
 
Tue May 03, 2011 12:30 AM +

Wsxedcr08 said: Pics or it didn't happen.


WHYCRYAFTERSEX08!

 
 
Tue May 03, 2011 12:59 AM +

@Vusypoo: I couldn't take a shower because I had no extra pair of panties. Or did you forget I wasn't in my own house? I can't just take a shower in someone else's house, even if it was my boyfriend's house. His mom doesn't appreciate that and I won't disrespect her house. And I did know where the paper was. It was in his mom's room. Which she ALWAYS locks when she leaves. So, it wasn't as easy as you thought. I mean, if it were my own house I was stuck in, yeah sure, to hell with it. But I wasn't. xD

@Wsxedcr08: Ewww. Why would you want to see that? That doesn't make me look attractive. D: </3

 
 
Tue May 03, 2011 01:40 AM +

Why would you want to see anyone with an unwiped set of buttocks? -shudders-

 
 
Tue May 03, 2011 05:16 AM +

DarkDragoon said: Why would you want to see anyone with an unwiped set of buttocks? -shudders-


D:

 
 
Wed May 04, 2011 07:59 AM +

Gujju said:
Wsxedcr08 said: Pics or it didn't happen.


WHYCRYAFTERSEX08!


Problem? ._.

 
 
Wed May 04, 2011 05:16 PM +

True13lue said: @Vusypoo: I couldn't take a shower because I had no extra pair of panties. Or did you forget I wasn't in my own house? I can't just take a shower in someone else's house, even if it was my boyfriend's house. His mom doesn't appreciate that and I won't disrespect her house. And I did know where the paper was. It was in his mom's room. Which she ALWAYS locks when she leaves. So, it wasn't as easy as you thought. I mean, if it were my own house I was stuck in, yeah sure, to hell with it. But I wasn't. xD

@Wsxedcr08: Ewww. Why would you want to see that? That doesn't make me look attractive. D: </3


*shrugs* different cultures I guess. I give this a 90% chance of being true based on all the evidence.

 
 
Thu May 05, 2011 07:39 PM +

So uhh, where's the question?

 

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