Ok
Yesterday I went to see my friend Cindy. She's this little middle-aged Taiwanese woman who I dont even remember how I met but we've been friends for the last 2 years.
Cindy came to Canada 5 years ago and next year she's eligible to apply for Canadian citizenship. She's pretty excited about that. She's married; and her husband is in Taiwan working and sending her money so she can rent her small apartment in Vancouver. They're in an open marriage, her husband doesnt seem to mind if she had a kid with someone else.

She's been wanting to meet someone who's Caucasion who she could have a baby with. She doesnt want to have one with her husband initially because he didn't want kids (she forgot to ask him before they got married ). She's 47 now and the window for having a baby is closing on her. She really wanted to have a kid and I feel bad for her.

Cindy met this guy Jim last year and he lied to her and told her he wanted to have a baby with her. Cindy was all happy and excited about that, but then it turned out Jim was a major douche bag, only said that just so have sex with her.

Cindy was heart broken, and her dream of having a child was shattered when Jim left.

So yesterday I went to see her, and she told me about this and then she told me her big idea:



I just stared back at her i was like *....HERP DERP* and was trying not to laugh but just her proposing that to me was like.......................

I mean its not every day a woman who won't even date you and is a platonic friend would ask you to get her pregnant :O and
this idea of hers hit a lot of nerves as I thought things through.

Ok, Obviously I would NOT do that because I dont want kids, then Cindy goes on saying:



"Yeah, but, what if 20 years later the kid wants to know who the father is or meet me and what if he/she hates me for not having been there?"



LOL. Ok so then I told her that what if I got her pregnant and wanted to be around to help raise the kid? You know? Man up, be a good father, be a part of that kid's life?

Then she was wide-eyed, staring at me if I was crazy. I was trying not to laugh.



"...well, yeah, if I actually did help you out, I would want to be there to help you raise the kid."



And me being the self-centered douche bag denied her request. I'm like "...........................................
..............................................
....................................................no. Sry. Cant. I feel bad for you, I do, but I just can't do that. I'm sorry. Not doing it."

I don't want to be a father, even if she didnt want me to have to help, and If I actually DID go through with this, I would feel so guilty and feel obligated to help her anyway and would want to be with her and the kid (and lose my freedoms etc for the rest of my life).

And that's just the road I do NOT want to travel. I dont wanna be there sitting in some apartment with her yelling and screaming at me over how I'm doing feeding/babysitting the kid. I hear too often about young fathers who try to do good and end up taking shit from their partners the whole time, nor do I want to be some dead beat.

Cindy said she would just take the kid back to Taiwan but then I would still feel bad, especially if disaster hit Taiwan, I'd be watching TV thinking Hmm. I wonder how my kid's doing?

So I decided to be a selfish self-centered douche bag and chose NOt to help Cindy get pregnant. I feel bad for her but screw it.
Overall that was an intense, awkward and quite entertaining 45 minutes we talked about this. On my way home I was laughing my ass off!


Best awkward moment ever :D