Alright, so I've been involved with one of the most beautiful, smart, amazing women that's ever been but there's one problem: she's my best friend's ex. (I mentioned this in one of my previous blogs) In any case, we've been together about 3 weeks and it has been amazing; she broke up with her boyfriend and my best friend around a month ago. We decided to wait and not go public until he was entirely over her and everything would go dandy. Isn't that like a clause/amendment to the brocode? It should be. In any case, to no avail we waited. Stephenie, the girl, then decided to confront my friend about the problem. "You need to get over me, I know I told you I wasn't going to be with anyone until you were comfortable with it but you're taking to long and you just need to get over me." He responded nicely, albeit disappointed. He said "Okay, I'll move on. Don't worry about it." Now, she saw that as a greenlight to fuck everything up. She told him how me and her had been involved and how we had been involved for 2 weeks. He responded "It was obvious, you didn't have to tell me. It's not my business." Well, now I thought this made it OK. Too bad it didn't. The next day he texts Stephenie "I can't believe how Dustin did this to me. We've been best friends for 9 years. I don't think I can keep a friend for the life of me. Nathan(Some random kid, not important) likes you, too."
Well shit, I don't want to lose a friend over this. So, whilst on a date with Steph I talk to her about it. "Well, I think I'll talk to him later. I can't let him hate me."
"He doesn't hate you...He just doesn't think he can be your friend anymore."
"I'm going to talk to him."
So we continue our date, we see Robin Hood. It was pretty nice. I feel at home with her. She's my kind of person. There's only one problem with her. She sees our relationship as expendable. (Exactly what she said) She says nothing lasts forever and I should just have fun now. (She was trying to convince me to have sex.) Anyway, I figured she'd fall in love with me eventually and that problem would be gone. Oh well, right?
Anyway, I called my friend today to talk to him. "I'm sorry, man. I thought you were over her and you wouldn't have a problem with it. I didn't mean to fuck everything up."
"Can't honestly say you didn't know it would?"
"Well, no I didn't. I thought you were over her. I guess it's kinda stupid to think that you can just get over a year of your life. I'm sorry. Is there any way I can make it better?"
"No, I don't think I have anything to say to either of you. You don't need to worry about how I feel."
"I do worry about it though. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. When we first decided we liked each other, we tried to think of ways to make it easier on you and I'm still willing to do that."
"Well, the best way to make me feel better about it is to not fucking do it."
"Alright...All you had to say. I'm not throwing away 9 years for a girl; no matter how much I like her."
"You don't have to do this only for me.."
"Stop thinking about how me or her feels and just tell me. Do you REALLY want me to stop? Forget EVERYTHING else."
"Okay, well...Yeah. Thanks for doing this for me."
"So you really like her, don't you?"
"I love her. I have for 2 years..."
Well shit, he's happy and I'm happy he's happy but I'm losing the best woman that's ever been interested in me. Hell, the best woman I've ever met. So today, I have to break up with her. I know she'll get angry. "The brocode is fucking stupid, Dustin! I can't believe you aren't willing to go through a little trouble to be with me!" she'll say. I'll probably stare at the ground and take it. I'll cry in private but not in front of her. Never in front of her... I'll miss you, Steph. I'll miss being with you. I'll miss the friendship we used to have. I'll regret fucking it up with my feelings and most of all, I regret putting you and me in this position. Even though you were the first to come out and say it, I felt it. I've always felt it.
-sigh-
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