I'm completely crushed. That feeling when you feel that you're nothing, merely a worthless piece of life that shouldn't live, I'm feeling the full brunt of it. I believe all of it is my fault entirely. I don't blame the other side, not one byte of it.
Let us rewind time back to February 13th, 2010, GMT +8 Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong time.
I fell in love with her, over the period of 4 years. We met at a friend's gathering, and at that time, I was naive and immature. I saw her comments on my friend's blog, and I thought she was a guy, until I met her at least. She kicked me in the arse for saying that I thought she was male. Love at first kick, I guess.
I waited patiently for her. Over her 2 relationships, and 1 one night stand. Over the fights, the good times, the great times, I just felt closer to her. Then I confessed all about it to her, at that fateful Chinese New Year's Eve.
To summarise it, it sucks so bad when you fall in love with your best friend.
Now, I think she sees me differently.
Recently we had a fight, and she cut off contact with me. 3 days have passed without talking to her. I don't know whether I can survive without her. D:
Sigh. I have no mood to complete this blog. It just feels better when one confides in a third party, with no relations to one or both parties in a conflict.
I'll leave with a quote and go to work. >_>
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina, Chapter 1, Line 1.