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The Pause Button!

Written by irawk on January 6, 2010
If I could invent anything, it would be a pause/slow button. Srs. What would it do? Freeze time, of course! No, I'm not talking about the hypertime-watch from Clockstoppers, nor a time machine that gives free reign of traveling through the space-time continuum (for obvious risks of altering history), simply the ability to pause everything around me, or slow it down. Why would I want to do something like that? The reasons are endless. If I was running late for work, I could just press a button, pause time, and take my... well... time getting to my desk :P. Slowing? Imagine playing TTFATF on Expert on GH3 at less than 1/4 speed, but everyone around you sees you nailing every note in normal time. You'd be a god among men! Out running the cops? Piece of cake. At 1/10th time, you could out run a squad car... on foot! Prison escapes? Freeze/slow time at the opportune moment, and you'd be miles away before your guard has time to react! I can has?

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irawk

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January 6, 2010
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Comments

 
Wed Jan 06, 2010 03:27 PM +

Pause Mip in the shower. Ogle. Unpause.

 
 
Wed Jan 06, 2010 03:58 PM +

That too ;)

 
 
Wed Jan 06, 2010 09:49 PM +

You would age at an accelerated rate as while everyone else has paused their biological processes, you are the Unpaused meaning you are still aging by seconds, minutes, days.

I'm pretty sure there are major flaws in that statement but what the hey, I'm American!

 
 
Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:29 AM +

The pause button pauses time. If time is not passing, you cannot age. Because time is paused, there is no need for biological processes to occur. Therefore, while in a "paused state," the user would never tire, never need to relieve him/herself, or even breathe.

 
 
Thu Jan 07, 2010 01:12 AM +

Vusys said: Pause Mip in the shower. Ogle. Unpause.


...Wouldn't that mean you'd get 50 steel lashes when you unpause? (I hope you remember to leave before you unpause)

 
 
Sun Jan 17, 2010 07:20 PM +

I don't know why I didn't Like this. =/

 
 
Sun Jan 17, 2010 10:24 PM +

Reminds me of those cartoons where the protagonist wishes for something that can control time, and at the end he/she regrets having it

 
 
Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:45 PM +

Quang said: Reminds me of those cartoons where the protagonist wishes for something that can control time, and at the end he/she regrets having it


Like that movie with Adam Sandler and the remote

 
 
Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:19 AM +

But there was nothing wrong with pause; it was because he fast forwarded too much.

 
 
Mon Jan 18, 2010 01:48 PM +

Power isn't meant to be there for those who can't control it :)

 
 
Mon Jan 18, 2010 07:13 PM +

FunnyFroggy said: But there was nothing wrong with pause; it was because he fast forwarded too much.


Yea..there could have gone anywhere with the power of that remote and they choose to use it to look at some guy's lame life.

 
 
Mon Jan 18, 2010 10:33 PM +

Anybody who wouldn't have used the remote like the guy in Click wouldn't have gotten the remote. I believe there's a unique item for everybody that teaches him or her a life lesson. He didn't cherish his family like he could have, and so he was taught through the remote.

Remember the scene in Bed, Bath and Beyond? The guy looks through the shelves one by one, but Adam Sandler (and we) see only one shelf that's glowing, which would be his. Maybe the other guy saw a bunch of items, which are all for different people, while the protagonist could only see his own.

Or, the Bed, Bath and Beyond guy AKA Angel of Death was being a noob

 

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