Albeit temporarily.

If anyone is wondering why I'm regularly on even though I'm supposed to be grounded by my mom... I'm going to clear it up now. I actually wanted to do this yesterday, but... Well, I procrastinated. ._.

Anyway, why am I on?

Okay, remember that my dad decided to give me a break and leave his laptop at home?

My mom found out. She was hopping MAD when she got home and found the laptop sitting there on the table. So she called me from my room and sounded me out. Then she got into this huge lecture about how I'm failing my grades so bad, how stupid I really, am, how she will terminate the internet and dismantle my computer. Then she found my earpieces on, and she started shouting about how I'm listening to crap modern day vulgar music talking about how I don't care, how she doesn't care, and how much of an idiot I am, how I should leave home right now...

Then I snapped.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!"

I was actually more irritated than angry. A few reasons why.

1. The "crap modern day vulgar uneducational rubbish music" was JS Bach (Well tempered clavier).
2. I DO CARE ABOUT MY STUDIES TYVM.
3. SHE DOES CARE, but in this case it's gonna cause me misery because she comes up with the worst "solutions". Her solutions so far: Dismantling the computer, terminating the internet, GROUNDING, stopping all my music lessons, stopping all my lessons not related to academics and putting me into tuition everyday, putting me into the school's dormitory (those people have no life, you're only allowed to go out on the weekends and there's no internet, and you will not be able to participate in any external activities), sleeping outside the house instead if I'm not going to SLEEP BY 9.30 PM (WTF I'M NOT IN PRESCHOOL), waking me up in the middle of the night at like 4am to give me a lecture on what an idiot I am and how I need to study more (LIKE I CAN STUDY AT 4AM).
4. Leaving home is just... Wth?
5. MY GRADES ARE NOT FAILING. I only failed ONE single paper which has little weightage on the final score!!

She goes by "spur of the moment" emotions to decide what she wants to do. I actually got a $30 mouse spoilt (SHE BOUGHT IT) because while lecturing me, she was smashing the mouse on the table for "effect", then the next moment I use it, it's busted. Or, or, she actually threw my entire bag out of the house when I wouldn't leave for tuition.

It went like this:

Me: Hey mom, not going for tuition today--
Mom: What?
Me: Not going for tuition--
Mom: Wtf? No. No. -grabs my bag, starts to stuff in all my stationery and books-
Me: Wait, I don't wanna go because-
Mom: I'm not interested in your excuses. You're going to go for tuition.
Me: Wait--
Mom: Get out. -points to door-
Me: What?
Mom: GET OUT NOW. -opens door, throws bag outside- -realizes my handphone isn't inside- -grabs my handphone, THROWS IT OUT OF THE DOOR, it's backflap came out and the battery too-
Me: What the... Why the hell did you do that?!!
Mom: -grabs a TELEPHONE and throws it at me- YOU BETTER GET OUT THERE.
Me: -holding back urge to punch- LISTEN TO ME YOU FREAKING IDIOT!!!
Mom: DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT! -preparing to throw remote control-
Me: TUITION'S CANCELLED THIS WEEK!!! I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY!!!!
-silence-
Mom: -walks back into room and slams door-

I was SO PISSED OFF I had to calm down by hitting pillows with my softball bat and tell myself that getting angry never solved anything.

So, anyway, that was the first time I said "STFU" to her in the face.

And I probably shouldn't have done what I did next. I grabbed my softball bat and my body language screamed, "I want to hit you so badly".

She fell completely silent as I ranted about how all her solutions never made me improve in my academics anyway, and how I never learnt a single virtue from all that shouting, and how I do things just so she would shut up, how she misses the point of "discipline", how dense she was, how it was better that she never talked to me again because everything she says is asinine, pointless, and ultimately of no value, and many other stuff I can't really remember.

After I finished, it was like... "Oh, shit, wtf did I just say?"

She closed the door and returned to her room.

So I turned the computer on and started to play it, as loudly as I could. I was wondering if I managed to get through to her. She later walked past me like I wasn't there.

._.

I don't know what the hell I should do. I think I really shouldn't have done that. But then again, I wish she would come up with better solutions and not make my life miserable. I mean personally, I don't really care if she doesn't care or keeps using harsh words or anything (they bounce right off.), but then when she starts to do things which affect me in a negative way, then I start minding.

And yes, you just sat through another azn mom rant.